A patient went to her optometrist and said, “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain in my eye. Any idea what it could be?”
The optometrist replied, “Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.”
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #143
Doctor: With a gut like that, I find it hard to believe that you work out.
Patient: But I exercise every day!
Doctor: What kind of exercises are you doing?
Patient: Well, I jump to conclusions, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #142
A statistician is someone who tells you, when you’ve got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you’re – on average – very comfortable.
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #141
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #140
Four buddies caught up for coffee many years after high school. Each bragging to the other how successful and wealthy they’ve become.
The first guy said, “See that bank building across the street? I am going to buy it within the next six months.”
The second guy then said, “See that hotel building next to the bank? I am going to buy it within the next month.”
Not wanting to lose out, the third guy quickly said, “See that shopping complex next to the hotel? I am going to buy that next week!”
They then look expectantly at the fourth guy who simply smiled and took one long sip of his coffee before muttering the words, “I’m not selling.”
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #139
A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”
“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name.”
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #138
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #137
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality!
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #136
Why are leopards not good at hide and seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
Crockstar’s light-hearted dish #135
Two rednecks are watching the sunset on their tractor and having a chat.
The first says, “I keep hearing on the radio, TV, read in the papers about the stock market but I still have no idea it is. Do you know?”
The second redneck replies, “How should I explain this to you… Let’s say you buy some eggs for your farm, these eggs hatch and now you have chicks, these chicks grow up to be hens which lay more eggs out of which you get more chicks that grow up to be hens and so on and so forth and your farm is full of them. One day a big flood ravages your land and takes all of them downstream. Then you sit and think to yourself: ducks… I should have gotten ducks. That’s what the stock market is like.”
Crockstar's Light-hearted Dishes 